From Kaleidoscope

WANTING TO BE “GOOD”: A FOOL’S KALEIDOSCOPE

MODE of Cosmic Therapy's "Goodness"

“Why are you so angry with me? What favor have I done for you, lately?” In a continual series of reflected distortions, your words, thoughts and actions condemn you. Everything you do or say is fragmentally reflected serving to severe your head by/through the webbous strings attached in actions offered by you, beguilingly. It matters not whether you are consciously aware of your motivating reasons for asking or receiving ‘favors’, the outcome is the same. You are not separate from the people and events that surround you and when you solicit help, advice, ‘special favoring’ of any sort, you will be compensated in bitter return. Placing people or situations on a pedestal, in order to benefit from either of them, will cause undulating waves of resentment and remorse. Never hold another in higher regard than yourself. It is false flattery of the worst kind!

“Halt! Who goes there; Stranger, friend or Foe?” It depends upon how you plan to use them! You never have been more conscious of your actions than in the moment you meet someone. “What do you do?’ {Usually among the first few questions.} What does it matter? Unless you are subconsciously slotting him into a space for further reference or entitlement, it really doesn’t matter if he’s a window washer or the president of IBM. The fact that you solicit a response indicates you are working to further your project IF that be possible. In order to retain any smidgen of integrity or honor, do not ask favors of anyone. When you ask for a favor or receive one, the placement is an unnatural, uncomely and unredeemable position for the both of you. No man is above you or below you in any sense of the word. When approaching or responding to someone in this demeaning manner, you are being superficial and so is he. {When you help; you hinder. When you are helped; you are hindered.}

Your divine consciousness will mirror back to you the perfect state/level of awareness in which you reside. It remains constant and unchanged. You are never in a state of lack; therefore how can you be in a state of WANT? {IF you have a NEED to either receive or give special ‘favoring’, check your ambitious impatient restless drive. Difficulty arises when you try to conceal your motivations {from yourself first, then others.} Why are you really wanting to appear so good/elevated to be able to help another or to ‘seem’ like you are allowing the other to be so ‘good’ by accepting help because you are in some sort of lowly position? When you appear more interested, involved, inclined to flatter, or incited to action based on someone other than you, it falls flat. Here how it goes down. When you want to remember something a certain way for benefit or detriment you end up blaming another for your perpetual situation. Never do you place yourself in the ‘seat of propriety,’ except when it brings advantage to do so. Even though you take pleasure in recounting all the many times, you DID so much good, the truth is you did it for the wrong reasons IF you can remember the event and have need to recall it. “…cast into the sea of forgetfulness…” The circumstance, person, place or thing had relevance for you at the time and YOU ‘got’ your reward immediately.

No one has ever harmed you in any way nor has he cheated, abused, abandoned or destroyed your self worth. {It is only by and through the IDEAS attached, do you experience deflation.} You have never been betrayed nor have you betrayed. You don’t have the power to do so. It is absolutely impossible to be cheated in this life. In actuality, the memories you reflect are no more real than the soft or hard life affirming story you tell yourself and others in order to remain vigilant. You create a world of such grandeur or defeat (one being the same) so that you remain the victim or hero. Either way, you are always ‘looking out for your interest and investment.’ As long as you continue to deny this genuine truth, you will prolong the experience of being suspicious, caustic, paranoid, bitter, resentful, remorseful and quick to judge, while at the same time, seeing nothing but the guileless goodness you think you possess. If you continue to believe that someone has cheated you out of something or denied you something, that you feel you deserve, your overall state of health high blood pressure will surely suffer from it. NO one owes you anything. {And, moreover would be highly pissed IF you tried to offer.} Don’t insult yourself or the other by asking or receiving.

It can not be stated enough: when you place another in an elevated position, it causes him to be in an unnatural, awkward and uncomfortable situation. One of which is impossible to regulate and maintain. The lofty position makes it impossible for him to be able to communicate with you. And, when you place yourself in such an elevated so-called honorable spot, it is then YOU who is at his most vulnerable. Apt to be chained to flattery, praise and clothed in a ‘false coat of goodness.’ The unfortunate result is that you both end up competing and comparing. The real man disguised under a cheap imitation of “who can shine the most” armor; easily tarnished, broken and discarded. This cloak of goodness invariably hides any goodness in you. Bring all that you are to the table. Don’t show a fine face; show the unrevealed face you are at the moment. Whatever THAT is, let it out. The authenticity of the hour precedes you. The chair of pretense lures; refuse to sit upon it.

Everything that has ever occurred to you has served to make you the person you are today. Call it your ‘training ground’, if you want to. You need to learn to appreciate-remember-apply the painful resistance in your life. Resistance involves your believing someone else has been afforded more opportunity or fewer advantages than you. Not true. And, when you think along these lines, you are the enemy. No clearer mirror is given to reflect your innermost character. You were born with a seed of Divinity that will grow, develop and mature according to the most painful needs set up by your Soul’s Assignment. These are the most fearful, doubting, embarrassing, inadequate times you experience. YOU must discover for yourself your own way out. NO one can do it for you. NO one can help you. YOU can help no one. You must carry your own bags. The train of delivery is a one-seater!

Your individual interpretation, adoration or loathing, exaltation or condemnation in the expression of God will be reflected in the unfamiliar, uncertain, unclear unstable and uncompromiseable things in which you involve yourself. All negative attitudes you harbor and exhibit are linked to your unwillingness to evolve. When you finally realize that it is impossible to be cheated, abused, abandoned or rejected, then and only then will you discover true liberating mastery. {And, never again have the self-serving need to take or grant favors.} You will never be able to control the actions, thoughts, and behaviors of another. But, by the redefinition of your own grievous self-seeking intent, to be seen in a good light a crystal clear personal memory will be bestowed upon you allowing you to view a ‘history of grasping’ unnecessarily.

An artistic potential you have yet to tap into is causing your present level of disheveling. Care to write a song? Paint a picture? Create a play or book incorporating the experiences you’ve gone through? Resist the urge to tell someone. Just start it. All things have happened exactly and precisely as they did for reasons you can’t see. But, are certainly part of the ever evolving story you are creatively writing and living. No room for handouts. In either direction Before you arrived on earth, a divine plan was set in order for you to fulfill. You possess the elements in totality. You will use your artistic gifts to the fullest, no matter what you believe otherwise. Nothing can or will prevent you from doing so. Unless you remain determined to throw yourself away by accepting or offering favors, you will stay steadily on the course of your designated cosmic path.

Pain is the surest way of reflecting to you that you are out of sync with your life. There will be times when you are uncertain as to why you have to endure certain agonizing circumstances. Some of these are the times when you WANT to help the most, but KNOW you can’t. Remember: you will be degrading the other IF you do! Rest assured, IF you will hold yourself in check and not HELP unimaginable benefits will come forth for you and the other. You can’t possibly imagine what it will feel like to cease ‘seizing control’ until after having experienced the liberty associated. You and the other will grow exponentially.

The reoccurring situation itself holds vital lessons for you both to experience. {The first one being to hold yourself back from stepping in and taking over!} Latent gifts that you possess, not yet actualized or expressed will surface to enable you to process the “please rescue me” or “I need to be rescued” event until it passes. Then, there will be other times when you will come to realize and appreciate the pain involved as so necessary, cleansing and beneficial. That’s when the pain {of being the one who says or having to be the one told “NO”} serves as a means to balance and not hinder your path.

You are living in a state of denial and anger. Whether or not the anger is visually expressed does not matter. The debilitating results are the same. Now is the time for you to forgive. “What is there to forgive IF no one has ever done you wrong?”Forgive yourself for believing you were ever in need of anything or that someone else needed you. Forgive yourself of the need and desire to appear ‘good.’ Let yourself and the other ‘off the hook.’ Let go of the idea that anyone at any time has wronged you or that you have in some wronged another. Not possible. It’s just some more of that ‘goody two shoes’ garbage seeping in. Give a more humorous and light-hearted slant to whatever you choose to artistically create with all that energy you’ll have left over after getting out of the business of other folks. You really don’t have to be so foreboding, UNAPPROACHABLE, demanding and disapproving, you know. “But, what cha’ gonna do?” It comes “piggy-backed” with the assumption of wanting and needing to appear: GOOD.

About the Author

Proud Native {Born, Bred, and Resident} of North Carolina, married 39 spectacular years, 6 children, 11 grandchildren.

I am passionate about love, living, laughter, liberty, learning, listening, loosening up, lounging, lunch, liveliness, literacy, lip stick, letting my hair down, leaping, leaning, libido, lifting, linking, looking, lodging, lemons and lyrics.

My personal and professional background is wide and varied. I have a BS in Communication with a MA in Art Education. I am a Cosmic Therapist, artist, entertainer, singer/songwriter, musician, composer, playwright, perfumer, astrology, author, teacher, speaker, poet and self-taught chef.

I am also a radio/television talk show creator, host and director. In addition when I'm not busy, I maintain a presence at M.O.D.E International School of Esoteric Arts and Sciences of which I founded many years ago,

Tags: flickr, kaleidoscope, patterns, photo, photography

This entry was posted on Friday, January 25th, 2008 at 4:48 pm and is filed under Beaded Jewelry. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.